Update!

Well I promised some people that I would continue to blog about my health and life so I guess I should keep that promise.
I gave birth to the newest love of my life Elsie Rae on Aug 14th. She weighed a perfect 7lbs 2 oz. She def made me work for her but of course it was another wonderful experience. I will forever be sad that I won't get to have a birth experience again but I know that we are now complete:)
I decided to forgo treatment right after birth. My Dr wanted me to begin a steroid immediately following the birth, within 24 hours. I did tons of research and praying and discussing with hubs and we decided that I would breastfeed even for a couple months then start treatment. I called my Dr and told him I wanted to wait, that's the wonderful thing about him is he doesn't bully me into things. Of course he wasn't thrilled with it but ultimately it's my decision.
In the days following giving birth I was feeling great and healing from the birth wonderfully. We were on such a high, I had Willie home with me for 2 weeks, Max was adjusting beautifully and the baby was a angel! I couldn't have been happier and more in love with my family.
Fast forward to my postpartum check up with my neurologist at 3 weeks. My appt was on a Thurs and on that Monday I noticed that my left eye was a lil blurry. I thought it was my contact so I switched it for a fresh one and it was still blurry. Also colors weren't as bright as they should be. At my appt when the Dr came in one of the 1st things he said that he "wasn't all warm and fuzzy with what I was doing" lol exact words!! He obviously wasn't pleased with me not being on treatment. He felt like I was running on borrowed time. I had begun to feel like the other shoe could drop at anytime. That I was getting a false sense of security because I felt so good. The eye issue (which he said was optic neuritis and very normal for ms patients) I was having did give me a bit of a reality check. He explained that the 1st few months after birth are very risky. A chance of a major relapse are very high and because I opted out of the steroid we now had to start on a different course of treatment. He gave me a box with tons of literature on the medication and told me to read it and talk it over with hubs and let him know what we decide. He then said something that hit close to home. He told me if it was his wife he would want her to start this asap. He speaks very highly of his wife and I know that she is the light of his life so that really affected me.

So on the way home I cried a bit just out of hormones, nerves or fear. I talked it over with my family and decided that this had to happen. It wasn't an option to keep avoiding it, I HAD to do this for my family. They need me just as I need them. I'm definitely still scared but the fear of not knowing if I may wake up with no vision or more numbness or no mobility in an arm or leg definitely out weighs my fear of giving myself a shot in the rear. But I should mention that it will be hubby that does that part! I keep telling myself that will be a cake walk compared to child birth! And I keep telling my self that I did that for my kids just like this shot will be for them as well. Everything I do is for them or because of them.