Whats new!!

When I first wrote about my diagnosis I promised that I would keep blogging about what was going on health wise in my life. So I guess I should keep my promise!

 

First off I feel great today! I have great days and then just good days. I can never say that I have bad days because I still can get out of bed, pick up my babies, see my babies and kiss my hubby. Until one of those things can not happen I will always be having a good day!!

I started treatment about 2 months ago. The first month was very easy, it was basically just a "learning" month. Willie gives me the injections 3 times a week (I'm a big ole scaredy cat and won't do it myself) And they aren't as bad as I had anticipated! The injection burns like a mo fo for about a min after then the area is very sore and tingly for about 12-24 hours after. We do the injection a 9pm with the hopes that I will sleep thru any side effects. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. Even the worst of the worst it is still tolerable. It's usually just flu like symptoms. Body aches, feverish, chills. The next day can be kind of rough too, I'm usually pretty tired. The dr gave me something for that and it doesn't seem to help much but hey I'm a mom of 2 I'm supposed to be tired right??

Another side effect of MS is fatigue so every couple of days I get hit with the worst exhaustion I have ever experienced. I can usually tell when it's coming or what will bring it on like the day after an injection so I just give in and close my eyes and not even sleep just rest for about 20 mins and that helps a bit. oh and down lots of caffeine;) Max is wonderful and if I tell him we are going to have a few mins of quite time he will just watch a lil tv next to me on the couch and I put the baby in her swing. I'm so blessed with such wonderful kiddies!!

About 2 weeks ago I had an appointment with my neurologist and he says that I'm doing wonderfully on this medication and that if all my labs come back good I can stay on it and they did! Whoo hoo I'm very happy to stay on this medication because he would have switched me to a daily injection and ugh I did not want that! I don't have to return to see him for 4 months and just a lil more blood work in 4-6 weeks just to monitor liver and vitamin D levels and if those stay good I'm to just keep doing what I'm doing!

I have an appt with the Opthamologist that I work for in a couple of weeks.  He just wants to do an exam and a few tests. I have optic neuritis in my left eye which is very common in MS patients as well. It's just a constant fogginess or it's like my contact is dirt . I first noticed it when I went for a jog about 2 months ago, I had a big blank spot in my vision when my heart rate went up and my body temp rose. Now whenever I do any physical activity it does it but it's not as scary now that I know what's happening! but it doesn't stop me from Zumba-ing!!

Almost all the numbness is completely gone but I still have no taste on the right side of my mouth. I have used that to my advantage tho, like eating an extremely hot pepper that brought tears to the boys eyes. I didn't even bat an eye at it;)

 

In other news Elsie is 4 months old, Max is doing extraordinary in school and Willie is same old wonderful (or as the Couchman's refer to him as "dreamboat" lol) Willie! We are just doing what we always do; living, loving and laughing. I feel like we are in the swing of having 2 kiddies! Max goes to preschool 4 days a week which has been wonderful for him. He's been moved up to Kindergarten reading level (PROUD parents!!) I returned (with the warmest welcome!!) to work 2 weeks ago. I only work on Fridays and it's so great to be using my brain and talking to grown up! Plus I work with the most wonderful group of ladies and I have to very best boss's ever so it makes it much easier to leave my babies and hubs.

I also want to thank everyone who thinks about me and checks in on me, I appreciate all the support! I really do have the very best group of friends and family that anyone could ever ask for!!! XOXOXO

Update!

Well I promised some people that I would continue to blog about my health and life so I guess I should keep that promise.
I gave birth to the newest love of my life Elsie Rae on Aug 14th. She weighed a perfect 7lbs 2 oz. She def made me work for her but of course it was another wonderful experience. I will forever be sad that I won't get to have a birth experience again but I know that we are now complete:)
I decided to forgo treatment right after birth. My Dr wanted me to begin a steroid immediately following the birth, within 24 hours. I did tons of research and praying and discussing with hubs and we decided that I would breastfeed even for a couple months then start treatment. I called my Dr and told him I wanted to wait, that's the wonderful thing about him is he doesn't bully me into things. Of course he wasn't thrilled with it but ultimately it's my decision.
In the days following giving birth I was feeling great and healing from the birth wonderfully. We were on such a high, I had Willie home with me for 2 weeks, Max was adjusting beautifully and the baby was a angel! I couldn't have been happier and more in love with my family.
Fast forward to my postpartum check up with my neurologist at 3 weeks. My appt was on a Thurs and on that Monday I noticed that my left eye was a lil blurry. I thought it was my contact so I switched it for a fresh one and it was still blurry. Also colors weren't as bright as they should be. At my appt when the Dr came in one of the 1st things he said that he "wasn't all warm and fuzzy with what I was doing" lol exact words!! He obviously wasn't pleased with me not being on treatment. He felt like I was running on borrowed time. I had begun to feel like the other shoe could drop at anytime. That I was getting a false sense of security because I felt so good. The eye issue (which he said was optic neuritis and very normal for ms patients) I was having did give me a bit of a reality check. He explained that the 1st few months after birth are very risky. A chance of a major relapse are very high and because I opted out of the steroid we now had to start on a different course of treatment. He gave me a box with tons of literature on the medication and told me to read it and talk it over with hubs and let him know what we decide. He then said something that hit close to home. He told me if it was his wife he would want her to start this asap. He speaks very highly of his wife and I know that she is the light of his life so that really affected me.

So on the way home I cried a bit just out of hormones, nerves or fear. I talked it over with my family and decided that this had to happen. It wasn't an option to keep avoiding it, I HAD to do this for my family. They need me just as I need them. I'm definitely still scared but the fear of not knowing if I may wake up with no vision or more numbness or no mobility in an arm or leg definitely out weighs my fear of giving myself a shot in the rear. But I should mention that it will be hubby that does that part! I keep telling myself that will be a cake walk compared to child birth! And I keep telling my self that I did that for my kids just like this shot will be for them as well. Everything I do is for them or because of them.

Changes!!!

If I had been asked a few months ago how I thought this summer would go I would have said it's going to be a summer of changes!! Little did I know it would be much more then the arrival of our second child and my 30th birthday.

At about 7.5 months into my pregnancy I began to notice that the right side of my face and scalp felt numb. I really didn't think it was anything to be concerned with, I had mentioned it to the girls at work and we joked a bit about it. When the Dr that I work for overheard us and he said ya know you should probably mention that to your dr at your next visit. He said it sounds like it's trigeminal neuropathy and not serious. So at my next OB appt about a week later I mentioned it to my Dr and he agreed that it was most likely trigeminal neuropathy and nothing to be concerned with. He said it most likely had nothing to do with the pregnancy but would probably be gone by the time I delivered. Ok then no biggie!

Fast forward a few weeks. I'm at work again and I say to a co worker how it's so weird that I can't taste on the right side of my mouth and my tongue is numb. Once again my boss overhears and says umm what did you say?? So I repeat it. He immediately gets on the phone and calls over to the neurologist that works in the building next to ours and makes me an appt for that evening. I was a lil thrown off because I had been told not worry but now I was worrying a bit! Later in the day he pulled me aside and apologized for making me worry and told me that he believed I had MS (multiple sclerosis). Whew it was kind of a relief because I was of course thinking the worst!!! MS wasn't a scary thing since my Dad has had it for at least 16-17 years and he is doing great! At the end of the day I went over to see the neurologist, he is a lovely man who I immediately felt comfortable with. He went over all of my family history, my medical history and did a full exam with all kinds of silly lil tests. He voiced his concerns with me being able to deliver naturally because if I had a spinal cord issue or even tumor (eek!!!) he would be worried that the strain of delivering naturally may cause permanent damage. He said he would like me to have an MRI asap. He never said what he thought it could be but I was concerned with having an mri at this point in my pregnancy. (I was about 33 weeks pregnant by that time) We agreed that I would have it without contrast (no dye would be injected). So I made the appt for as soon as they could get me in. It was on a Sunday and I was very nervous but to my surprise it wasn't bad at all! Now I'd have to wait for results...

The very next evening my family and I were sitting down to dinner and my phone rang, I answered and to my surprise it was my neurologist. My first thought was oh good the MRI came back totally normal and he wanted me to know so I wouldn't worry!! But unfortunately he says to me "well Sarah I have reviewed your MRI and you have what your father has, MS" but I felt a huge relief! I said ok so what's next?? He says "I like your attitude!" We discussed a few things then, he wanted me to start taking extra vit D asap. Then he asked me to be sure to bring my hubby in on that weds for my appt and be sure to bring in a list of questions we had. So I got to work thinking of everything I could possibly ask him about and of course searching the internet!

When Weds rolled around I was ready to find out what all I had to do and had lots of questions to ask! At the appt the first thing he did was pull up my MRI on the computer and showed us. I knew something def wasn't normal (I'd watched enough Grey's Anatomy to know what a abnormal MRI looked like!) There were all these whitish cloudy spots. He called them lesions, that sounded scary. As he talked I started to get the idea that this was not going to be the same as my dad's MS. He even said that at one point. He believes that I have had MS for years, these lesions didn't just happen in a month or 2. He was talking about starting treatment within 24 hours of delivering my daughter. I began to feel a lil overwhelmed but tried my best to listen and retain all the info he was telling us. He gave us so much to think about and consider and lots of literature to read. He gave us options and said to let him know what we decide. I still haven't decided what exactly I want to do and how aggressively we should go at this. The biggest concern is a major relapse after the baby is born. Apparently it's very unusual to have a flare up while pregnant so he's very concerned I will have a hard relapse after since I'm already having symptoms and pregnancy usually makes symptoms subside. There goes me being a boring patient as my OB has called me!! At one point in during the appt I said well it could be worse right?? And he looked me right in the eye and said "yes it could be much much worse. I really thought when I first examined you that you had a brain tumor." eek that really threw me!! He keeps saying things like "you're interesting to me" and "very complex patient"....

So now I'm doing lots of thinking and researching and praying. I need to weigh out all my options and decide what exactly is going to be best for me and my family. There's no guarantee what will happen after the baby comes but I have faith that I will be ok!!! I've always said I was an optimist and positive person but never really had anything to test that but now I do and my glass is still half full and I still feel truly blessed!!!

Some changes but the same...make sense????

Well it's been awhile since I've blogged. I guess a lot has been going on but it's still the same. If that doesn't make sense keep reading;)Life has been cruising by and I feel like sometimes I need to yell STOP!! It's already Aug which means that summer is almost over:( Max is now 3 and I think it is safe to say he is potty trained!!!!! I have been working very hard to get to this point and it's so true when people say "he will go when he's ready" and yup that is the truth!! It literally clicked over night with him and I couldn't be happier. I tried everything under the sun...potty chart, bribes, candy, shopping, peeing at Cheerios and foaming hand soap. None of that worked until he was ready. I really never thought I'd spend so much time talking about urine but I am one proud momma!! ok no more potty talk:)
I have started working 1 day a week at a vision center and I LOVE it! Gives me a chance to get out of the house and make a lil money. I work on Fridays which is just amazing since Willie is off we don't have to worry about child care and Max gets some QT in with Dada:) Now even tho I work 1 day a week I still consider myself a stay at home momma. I get the best of both worlds! I sell Tastefully Simple as well which is such a fun "job" too!
So I guess what I'm saying is life is still the same in the fact that I am still desperately in love with my boys but it's changing as Max is growing and continuing to be such an amazing kid and then the normal life changes which are all very good thing<3

I have a very dear friend named Erica who is pregnant with her 2nd son who will be named Kole:) He is due to make his arrival in October and since I wasn't around when her 4 year old son Chase was born I decided I wanted to throw her a sprinkle! (even if I had been around back then I still would do this because 1. I love love love to throw a party and 2. Kole deserves a few new things) I am realizing that alot of people aren't familiar with "Sprinkles" so let me explain...the guest list much smaller then a Shower and no BIG items are bought. Just bibs, bottles, clothes, those type of things...this baby deserves an few new things too! Plus we are celebrating a life!!! The nursery is going to be a "woodland" theme so I am taking that and running with it!!!!! I LOVE themes lol I am loving it!!! I will continue to update as I make things for this sprinkle:) I have so many ideas!!!!

The best way to the heart is through the....

Lets talk FOOD!!! Cooking takes me to a happy place. I could honestly sit and look at cookbooks or recipes online or food blogs for hours. It's becoming a bit of an obsession. I don't think I'm the best cook or the worst for that matter but I do know that cooking for my family makes me happy. I love to feed people, it fills my heart to fill their tummies! In my family we have family dinner every tues night. It's usually us, my parents and bro and sister in law. We try different recipes out on each other and it's so fun to get every one's input...even tho we all love food so it's highly unlikely that we wouldn't all like it and devour it! We aren't very good food critics lol There is nothing better then a family sitting down together over a home cooked meal and just enjoying each other's company talking and laughing:)
I think it's important to eat as a family. Most week nights we are eating together. I'm not judging people who don't but for us it's important. I know lots of people who don't ever use their tables to sit and eat and that's kinda a shame. Even tho nowadays Max doesn't usually sit thru the whole meal and rarely eats everything on his plate but I know that he'll remember these dinners. He'll come around eventually:) I can remember as a child when my Dad worked some odd ball shift and he was going into work not long after we got home from school we would have dinner early so we could eat with him. It was important to my parents and I still remember that.
I guess what I'm saying is even if the foods not the greatest it's about being a family. That is my #1 priority in life. So even if we aren't blood related I hope that if you sit at my dining room table and I cook for you I hope that you feel like family!

setting goals or facing fears??

I like so many other women am VERY hard on myself. When I make a stupid mistakes like forgetting to pay a bill and then having to pay an extra $15 in late fees it really chaps me. Or going to the grocery store and getting everything on my mile long list except the MAIN thing we need, like toilet paper. So when I started weight watchers a week ago I promised myself that I would not be so mean to me and if I slipped up and ate bad well that happened and deal with it and move on. and you know what?? it hasn't worked!! I think I'm even harder on myself now because I have to record it and actually type it out and that makes me feel even worse!! but thats the whole point of recording everything you eat, you are more conscious of what you put in your mouth. So I have 2 goals for the near future...1. eat better so I don't have the "type" of shame and 2. STOP BEING SO HARD ON MY SELF!!! now these are just my immediate future goals and I don't know if I am ready to type out all my goals, I think that not only would it take all afternoon but I don't think I'm quite ready to face some of them. I'm only talking about goals within myself...not financial goals (I have those too!) but goals to either change or improve myself. Maybe they are more like  fears then goals. or is that the same thing?? If you aren't afraid of it then you wouldn't have to set a goal to achieve it right??